im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
