MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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