I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
