whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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