At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
