Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
