He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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