there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
