You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
