I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
