I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
