mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
