omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
