Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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