this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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