How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
