My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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