i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
