i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
