You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
