this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize