you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
