I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
