too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
