There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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