worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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