We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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