There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
