Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
