I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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