i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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