Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
