Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
