A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
