I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Randomize
