I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
