In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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