you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
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You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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