omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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