Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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