in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
