Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
