I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
