why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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