is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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