Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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