At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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