You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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