Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
