i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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