I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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