I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
