it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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