Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
