I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
