all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
