I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
