thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
