god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
