I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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