Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
